Wednesday, July 29

Back to School!

I have been neglecting the blog. Probably because I've been trying to figure what exactly I'm doing here in life. Well, I've decided to go back to Graduate School and focus on that full time since the job market stinks so much. And while I was in the process of the job search, I realized how important it is to me to finish my Masters degree, even if no one else ever cares if I finish. There's something about knowing that I am capable of completing the requirements and finishing what I started.

Right now I'm waiting for approval from the Graduate School Dean's Office and then I can register. But I've already started on my reading. It's pretty exciting. I'll have to write more about what I've learned about myself in the process. But for now, it's back to school for me!

Tuesday, July 7

Confession of Sin

In the past few months, I've only been posting about my triathlon training. Since that training is becoming more routine and I don't have interesting things to blog about I think I will introduce a few new topics like my spiritual, academic and professional areas of life.

So the thing on my mind today is in the spiritual area. I go to church most Sunday evenings and I have a terrible habit of being late (not just to church). My standard for church is basically that if I can get there before the Confession of Sin during the service, then I'm not entirely too late. Granted, that means that I have missed all the announcements and the beginning and never know what's going on in the church, the call to worship, a couple of hymns and the confession of faith. But I think since the confession of sin seems to be very important to me, I want to make sure I don't miss it.

Some people may think it is strange that I put so much focus on the confession of sin so I want to try to explain. When I resumed attending church regularly in March 2008, I cried a lot. That was one reason why I didn't want to go to church before that because I was always crying. Being in the worship service was very powerful to me. I knew (and still know) every day of the week that I am a sinner and I just keep on sinning like it's my job or something. But there is something very unique in the corporate confession of sin at Redeemer. What is written in the bulletin is always accurate to the root of my sin and the manifestation of it each week. It is written in words I would never think to use in describing the hopelessness of my sin. So every Sunday, I appreciate the candidness of these words and the fact that I'm not the only one saying them, but we are all confessing together. We, as a body of believers in the resurrection of Christ, confess together all that we are lacking in holiness. This is immediately followed by a time of silent confession, just between me and God. But that's not even the best part. The most glorious part of this whole process of confessing our sins is that it is completed with the Words of Assurance. That's the part of the service where someone reads Scripture that reminds us our sins are forgiven--not because of any penance that we've done, but because of God's mercy and the work of Christ.

Here's any example from this past Sunday:
CONFESSION OF SIN
Holy God, we confess that we are sinful people. Father of Mercies, we confess that we need your forgiveness. Though we know your commandments, we have broken them all. Though we have heard the great story of your redemption of the world through Jesus Christ, we have been slow to believe and quick to forget. Instead of holding onto your promise of salvation, we have often let go in order to embrace the very things that Jesus came to destroy, committing treason against our King. O God, forgive us of our guilt, heal us of our brokenness, and cleanse us of our impurity, for the sake of your son, Jesus Christ.
WORDS OF ASSURANCE
Colossians 2:13-14
And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with Christ, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame by trumphing over them in him."

Last week, I think I was especially good at sinning. I was looking for an escape from the realities of life at every opportunity. Instead of trusting God, waiting and expecting his provision for each day, I was desperately trying to deal with my stress and anxiety on my own. I do this more often that I want to admit and sometimes I'm pretty creative with the ways I check out from life-- even making it seem like a good thing at times. But it is always refreshing to have those minutes of corporate confession to remind me that I'm not alone in this. I'm not the only one who struggles or feels any pain. And I'm also not condemned for it. There is hope because of Christ. I am forgiven. I am not left alone in my misery. And this is good news every time. Even if I hear it all the time, I look forward to the Confession of Sin every week because it is followed by the Words of Assurance.

And then I know that I'm going to be alright.